Overwhelm, Exam Stress, and the Science of Task Initiation
by Cali Shimkovitz, MEd, RP(Q)
If you’ve been staring at your laptop, pacing around your room, or doing literally anything except the thing you need to do… you’re not alone. With exams in full force and the holidays approaching, many students tell us, “I know what I have to do. I just cannot make myself start.”
And then, oftentimes, the shame kicks in: Why am I like this? Why can’t I just do it? Am I lazy?
Here’s the truth: you’re not lazy — you’re overwhelmed. And there’s real psychology behind why getting started can feel impossible, especially during high-stress seasons.
Why Getting Started Is So Hard
1. Your brain is overloaded — and overloaded brains freeze.
When stress piles up (exams, deadlines, holiday social pressure, family dynamics, everything happening at once), your nervous system shifts into survival mode. This makes it harder for the “planning” part of your brain to function the way it normally does. So, instead of feeling energized and getting started, you feel stuck and shut down. This isn’t out of laziness, but something called cognitive overload.
2. Stress shrinks your window of tolerance.
When you’re outside of your window of tolerance (the range of stress you can manage before shutting down or getting overwhelmed), tasks that used to feel manageable suddenly feel too big and too stressful. Your brain interprets these tasks as threats, and your body’s response to perceived threat is: fight, flight, or freeze.
Freeze can look like:
procrastinating
scrolling
distracting yourself
telling yourself you’ll “start in 10 minutes”
panicking, but still not doing anything
This is a normal human response!
3. Perfectionism creates invisible pressure.
Many people get stuck before starting because they feel that if a task can’t be done perfectly, it isn’t worth doing at all. Perfectionism convinces your brain that starting is risky – What if it’s not good enough? What if I disappoint someone? What if I disappoint myself? So, avoidance becomes a protective mechanism against these perceived risks.
How to Start When Starting Feels Impossible
1. Shrink the task until it feels almost too small.
Your brain needs a win to get the ball rolling, not a huge mountain to climb from the ground up. Ask yourself: What is the smallest possible first step?
Examples:
instead of “study biology,” → “open the chapter and read the first paragraph”
instead of “write my essay,” → “open the document and type one sentence”
instead of “clean my room,” → “pick up five things”
Tiny actions reduce the brain’s overwhelm, and once you’re in motion, momentum and positive feelings that come from progress keep you going.
2. Try the “10% Rule.”
Commit to completing just 10% of the work. Often once you begin you naturally keep going, but even if you don’t, you’ve done something meaningful!
3. Externalize the pressure.
If the whole task lives inside your head, it will always feel heavier and more insurmountable. Instead of just thinking things through and isolating until you get the task completed, try writing out each step and asking someone to co-work with you (in person or virtually). Ultimately, structure, support, and externalizing reduces the emotional load, which makes it easier to get started.
4. Regulate your nervous system first.
Your brain cannot problem-solve when you’re dysregulated. Before trying to start a task you’ve been putting off, try:
30 seconds of slow breathing
a brisk walk
a cold splash of water on your face
grounding through your 5 senses
stretching or shaking out any tension in your body
These quick resets tell your brain: “I’m safe enough to begin.”
5. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend.
Shame shuts people down, while compassion gets people moving. Try shifting from: “I should’ve done this already.” to “This is hard because I’m stressed, not because I’m failing. I can try one small step.”
This tiny mindset shift matters more than you think.
If You’re Feeling Extra Stuck Right Now… That Makes Sense!
Exam season + holidays = pressure, expectations, deadlines, disrupted routines, and less rest. It’s a perfect storm for feeling overwhelmed.
If motivation has dipped or you feel frozen when you sit down to start something, nothing is wrong with you. You’re responding to stress exactly the way the human brain is designed to.
Ultimately, you don’t have to power through alone. If you or your child is struggling with overwhelm, avoidance, or school stress, our therapists at Straight Up Health can help you build realistic strategies and skills to get unstuck and feel more in control again.