Back-to-School and the Art of Making New Friends
by Cali Shimkovitz, MEd, RP(Q)
Starting a new school year can feel like stepping into a whole new world. New classes, new routines, and often, new people. For many students, one of the most exciting and stressful parts of back-to-school is making friends. The pressure to “fit in” or to have a big social circle can be overwhelming, but here’s the truth: you don’t need to be friends with everyone. What really matters is building a few strong, healthy friendships that help you feel supported and connected.
Quality Over Quantity
It’s easy to think that having a big group of friends means you’re doing something right. But friendship isn’t about numbers – it’s about connection. Even one or two close friends who “get” you can be more valuable than a whole crowd of acquaintances. Ask yourself: do I feel safe, understood, and accepted around this person? Do I leave interactions with this person feeling energized? If the answers are yes, that’s a friendship worth investing in.
Making Good Interpersonal Decisions
Not every potential friendship will be the right fit, and that’s okay! Sometimes we meet people who are fun in the moment, but who leave us feeling drained, insecure, or pressured to be someone we’re not. Many friendships have a reason, and a season. A big part of growing up is learning to notice these dynamics and make thoughtful choices. It takes courage and self-care to step away from friendships that don’t serve you, but it also opens the door for nourishing new friendships that leave you feeling energized and grounded.
The Power of Your Inner Circle
There’s a saying that “you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. While this doesn’t need to be taken literally, it captures something important: the people closest to you shape your mindset, your habits, and even your sense of self. Surround yourself with friends who lift you up, encourage your growth, remind you of your worth, and leave you feeling connected to your values. These friendships become a foundation that makes it easier to take on the challenges of school and life.
Tips for Making New Friends This Year
If you’re looking to expand your circle, here are a few gentle reminders:
Start small. Say hi to someone in class, ask a question, or sit with someone new at lunch. Small steps often lead to meaningful connections.
Look for shared interests. Clubs, sports teams, and extracurriculars are natural places to meet people who like what you like.
Be yourself. Authenticity is magnetic. The right people will be drawn to the real you!
Notice how you feel. Pay attention to whether you feel good, safe, and energized after spending time with someone. That’s a sign it’s a friendship worth growing.
Remember: You Belong
It’s normal for friendships to take time. Not every introduction will turn into a lasting bond, and that’s part of the process. What matters most is knowing that you deserve relationships where you feel respected, valued, and accepted just as you are. The start of the school year is a fresh chance to practice noticing who makes you feel like your best self – and to lean into those connections.