Dealing with Loneliness

Blog post written by Lama El-Hanan, Straight Up Health

Physical distancing is a critical public health measure that is meant to ensure the safety and well-being of individuals, families and communities. However, it can have unintended negative consequences on our mental and emotional health. This is because loneliness and mental health are intimately related. The Globe and Mail has reported that 54% of Canadians have felt more lonely and isolated since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. These feelings are more acute for youth between the ages of 18 and 34. Loneliness has been shown to have adverse health implications such as increased levels of anxiety and depression as well as poor sleep. As such, developing strategies for coping with and mitigating loneliness is essential to ensuring our well-being during this challenging time. Below, we outline some of the steps that we can take to do so. 

Validate Your Feelings

Independence and self-sufficiency are highly valued in our culture. But sometimes we just can’t make it on our own. We often feel that we are “weak” or “needy” when we lean on others for support. The reality is that nothing could make you more human than needing a friend. We are social animals. Interdependence and community care have been essential to the survival of our species since time immemorial. It is completely normal to feel lonely and in need of social interaction and support. Allow yourself to sit with feelings of loneliness without judgement. Acknowledge the emotions that come up for you and give a name to the feeling. Then, remind yourself that it is okay to feel however you do. Use statements such as “I give myself permission to experience this emotion”. 

Know That You are Not Alone

Although it may seem a little counter-intuitive, you are not alone in your loneliness. Millions of people around the world are physically cut off from their family and friends. The loneliness we are going through is a collective and global experience. This fact is not meant to diminish your pain or take away from the uniqueness of your personal experience. Rather, it is a reminder that there is camaraderie to be found in our experience of loneliness. Collective problems require collective solutions. We all have a role to play in helping each other feel a little less lonely during this difficult time. 

Reconnect with Friends and Family

The key to combating loneliness lies in maintaining and enriching our social relationships. This means having more face-to-face interactions and spending less time communicating via social media, which encourages more ad hoc engagement. The hustle and bustle of everyday life before COVID-19 meant that finding the time to meet up with a friend or visit extended family was a feat of logistical gymnastics. Meeting up in person has become even more challenging since the onset of the pandemic. On the other hand, however, many of us have had more free time on our hands since we have started working or studying from home. We can use this time to reconnect with old friends. Perhaps you accidentally left someone on read and never got around to messaging them back, caught in a vicious cycle of guilt and embarrassment. Challenge yourself to reach out to that person and schedule an online meet-up. It is very likely that they are just as much in need of a friend as you are. You can also use the extra time to reconnect with some of your favourite relatives. Do you have a cool aunt or grandparent that you wish you talked to more often? Pick up the phone and re-establish these connections. They would probably be delighted to hear your voice. 

Build Community Around Common Interests

The extra time that we have gained from foregoing daily commutes has also enabled many of us to (re)discover interests and hobbies. This explains the dramatic surge in houseplant sales over the past couple of months. It is also probably behind the proliferation of online book clubs. Going on this journey of personal discovery and exploration is lots of fun. However, going on it with a community of similarly-oriented people can be an opportunity to create meaningful connections and lifelong friendships. Apps such as Meetup and Eventbrite can help you find online events and groups based on your own interests. Although these apps have their own regulatory schemes, do your due diligence to ensure online groups are safe, legitimate and run in good faith. If you are under 18, it is a good idea to double check with a safe adult to make sure that this is the case.