On Being Present: The In-Between is Where Life Happens

by Cali Shimkovitz, MEd, RP(Q)

In a world that moves at lightning speed, young people are often encouraged – directly and indirectly – to keep their eyes on the next big thing. The next grade. The next achievement. The next relationship. The next version of themselves.

It’s no wonder so many teens and young adults feel anxious, restless, or like they’re constantly “behind.”

But in focusing so much on what’s next, it’s easy to miss the richness of what’s now. As Michelle Obama recently reflected, “The in-between moments are where life actually happens.” This wisdom feels especially important for today’s youth – many of whom are navigating transitions, pressures, and a culture that glorifies hustle and constant improvement.

So, what does it mean to be present? Why does it matter? And how can we begin to embrace the “in-between”?

What Does It Mean to Be Present?

Being present is about bringing your full attention to this moment, rather than ruminating on the past or anticipating the future. It’s noticing the small details: the way the sunlight filters through your window, the sound of laughter in the background, the taste of your coffee, the feeling of a cool breeze on your skin.

Instead of asking, “Where am I going?” presence invites us to ask, “Where am I now?”

For young people, presence can feel like a radical act in a culture that pushes them to always be planning their next move. And let’s be honest – it’s not always easy. Our minds are wired to wander! While there’s nothing wrong with setting goals, constantly living in the future can leave us feeling like we’re missing something important.

Why Being Present Matters

1. It helps manage stress and anxiety.
   When your mind is stuck on “what ifs” about the future, your body reacts as if those worries are happening now. Learning to bring your attention back to the present can calm your nervous system and help you feel more grounded.

2. It makes life feel more meaningful.
   The moments that often end up being the most significant – quiet conversations with a friend, a burst of inspiration, even mundane daily rituals – are happening in the here and now. Being present helps you actually notice them, rather than letting them blur by.

3. It fosters resilience.
   Life is full of uncertainty, especially during adolescence and young adulthood. Cultivating presence helps young people tolerate uncertainty and engage with life as it unfolds. In other words, “rolling with the punches” instead of trying to control every outcome.

4. It deepens connections.
   When we’re fully present with others, we listen more deeply, empathize more easily, and connect more authentically. This is how trust and closeness grow.

How to Cultivate Presence

The good news? You don’t need to completely unplug or retreat to the mountains to become more present. It’s about small, intentional practices woven into daily life.

• Pause and Breathe
  Take 30 seconds to pause and focus on your breath. Feel the air moving in and out. This simple act can help anchor you in the moment.

• Practice Mindfulness
  Mindfulness is the art of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Try noticing the sensations in your body, the sounds around you, or the thoughts passing through your mind – like leaves floating by on a stream.

• Engage Your Senses
  When eating, notice the taste, texture, and aroma of your food. When walking, feel the ground under your feet and the air on your skin. Tuning into your senses helps shift you out of autopilot.

• Put Down the Phone
  Technology isn’t inherently bad, but constant scrolling pulls us away from the here and now. Try setting small limits, like keeping your phone out of reach during meals or conversations.

• Savor Small Joys
  Make it a habit to notice and savor little moments of pleasure – a funny meme, a warm cup of tea, a favourite song.

• Check in with Yourself
  Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? What do I need? Tuning in to your inner world is an act of presence too.

A Therapist’s Perspective

At Straight Up Health, we see so many young people who feel like life is a race to the next milestone. But often, what they’re craving isn’t “more” – it’s permission to slow down and just be.

As one of our therapists puts it:
“The present moment is like a muscle. At first it may feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable to rest there, but the more you practice, the stronger it gets. And over time, you realize those little in-between moments aren’t so little – they’re your actual life.”

So, if you’re feeling stuck in the “what’s next,” take a breath. Look around. This moment – as ordinary or imperfect as it may seem – just might be the one you’ve been waiting for.